Tales of “I can´t people” and mental health
Recently I´ve had some cases or days of “I can´t people”… severe ones! That´s one of the reasons I blog less and am on MUCH less recently. On one hand it´s refreshing, relaxing and releaving as I do other things, sit on our balcony, as the weather is nice recently, maybe blowing some bubbles or listening to podcasts or music, sometimes I bullet journal, too. That caters to my mental health. Sometimes I row a bit (our wind-row machine usually plays mannequin in our bedroom so I pulled it into the living room yesterday to keep it more in sight. It´s not a permanent solution with this flat and setup, but ah well.)
Of course it doesn´t help with my feeling of exclusion and feeds my depression immensly, too. Especially when I´m still trapped at the PC cos I don´t feel like sitting outside and still have to wear headphones cos our downstairs neighbour is a dentist. Perfect for me with my mortal panic of them. (Panic so hard I couldn´t even think of setting a foot through the door without sedation…) Of course they have the windows open, too – it´s only sane to do so with this wonderful weather… BUT…I hear the drills. No matter how loud the TV is… I hear it.
Of course I check my mail, SL, Flickr, FB and here constantly and peek into Discord either via PC and/or phone so I won´t miss too much and I´m always within reach but I can´t really stand to stay in SL for hours on end recently. The groupchats are so repetitive, but all my homes and parcels are surrounded by either inactive people or people from different time zones. So if I don´t have stuff to unpack /can´t be arsed to unpack or have the spark to blog right now… yeah… I sit there, stare into the windlight-skies and get sad because I don´t have the courage to poke people, the´re all off or afk. I´m not one of those who has people contacting her to say hi ever so often. That´s why I love groupchats so much. But if it´s a “I can´t people” day I literally have NO patience for anything at all. I get very sarcastic and …let´s be honest… I´m an arsehole… a complete tit towards others. Full on mean mode and all that. Snarky, sarcastic, snippy – not nice to be around at all. Combine that with shopping groups where you get “is there free … for…. “(no!), “why is there no …. for ….”(because rigging is a pain in the arse, fuckssake!) , “is a new Groupgift out?”(just go, sit in a hole and stare at the dirt around you, you greedy bitch!) , “when does xyz open?” (check their fuckin group/owner´s profile-/fb/flickr/seraphim/website….) …uh or the Bellisserian groups… now… I´ve mentioned it before and I´m seriously considering putting a “How to LH” Notecard. YES it IS Madness – even for SL relations. No it will not be the end – there´s a new release day in 2 days… fuck it might even be 4 if one is skipped or you´re reading this on a friday… but there will be more for the forseeable future. Stop whining in all those groupchats and platforms. Same with stuff like us being told not to do ANY business in Bellisseria. Get over it and if you can´t don´t come here. Simple as that. I´m offline in SL as I type this and might take photos for the Bellisserian Newspaper, prepare the actual blogpost while hanging out on my houseboat there but other than that I´ll keep to my home, office and other sims for the posts. While we´re at getting over. I just love (not…) how people can whine for hours and hours in groupchats, repeating the same arguments or making up new excuses because why it´s so mean. Give us a fuckin break! So that´s usually another groupchat closed, someone blocked, SL closed if I´m pissed off too much, maybe even the PC shut down. Talking about shutting down. I seriously shed a tear or two when I heard Patch had left the Bellisserian Community Group because he couldn´t stand being in there anymore. Isn´t that pathetic if the users behave so rude and horribly that the VERY patient staff member who did WAY more than he would have had to decides to leave the group? Let me tell you the Patch Linden Fanclub is buzzing with support for him! I also joined the Bellisseria Mental Health Group but it´s just starting off so not too much action there. If my RL slows down I´ll do my best to help Scottish Sarah with really kicking it off.
I can´t people days happen usually if I´m sleep deprived or in a general bad mood.
To improve my mood I try my best to drink (water and unsweetened tea), eat (depending how tough it is anything between an apple with some yoghurt and some rich pasta dish), cuddle with our cats and/or Dave (whoever is within reach first), listen to music (horrorpunk, modern classical music – especially Taylor Davis or The Piano Guys, metal or…if all else fails or I feel like it, I grab the anchor of my musical lifetime: Take That or Mark Owen´s solo stuff). Combined with either a good cry or a scream into a pillow. Of course I always document stuff in my Bullet Journal. If you are interested I can do a post on that in the near future, showing you spreads and trackers, getting into details.
Another reason why I´m offline for up to several days currently is an intense heatwave with temperatures up to 39°C/98°F accompanied by the fact that Dave turned 28 on Tuesday and his family was over yesterday. After that we stayed up laaaaate and fired up the BBQ at 12.30AM cos we planned to have a lil BBQ for his birthday but it was so hot and we didn´t want to waste the meat. The fire lasted till around 3-ish-AM, he went to bed, I stayed up to blog. Now it´s 23°C/70°F and 5.09 AM. I´m tired but he´ll get back up at 6, fetch some stuff from the office, do the shopping and we´ll lay down to sleep during the day. Vampire mode activated. I won´t be on from Saturday to Wednesday though as we´ll be going over to the other appartment and do day trips from there. I might tell you more in another post. Until then…