Hanging in mid air
I´ve been back for about 3 weeks now, the move is complete, so is the bathroom. Back to normality for me.
While everything´s pretty much normal for me Jonian´s in constant homeoffice for now and everything else is hanging in mid air. You know what is coming up soon, it was meant to be the final destination of my life plan. After that I just want an average, boring life. With our hobbies we can entertain us enough – we don´t need more. Move into a house in 2-3 years and then just… live…day to day, eat well, friends, family, hobbies. That´s entertaining enough. I cannot deal with drama, my mental health is fragile enough and I´ve stopped counting the traumas and burnouts normal life give me. I´ve never learnt how to “get over” things or anything alike. Nobody was able to tell me, not even my therapist. “Manuals” of “letting go” don´t work for me. Everything keeps coming back up…. so… imagine how I feel now that my final life-goal was planned to… well not perfection (how do others do that?) but to a level I can …hopefully- handle…. ? I just want it to be over tbh, to have the ceremonies behind me, have the new name legally, have a few hours of good food, relatives and that dance… and then finally go into a plain, simple life.
Now I have to either make more compromises or…I can´t even type it… So, excuse me while I´m not meeting goals or…. continue to blog for a while, expanding again like I planned to…. every day RL is too much for me right now…. I´m broken.
As I took some items:
HerGeekSpot Imperial Throne
I have never struggled with a post that much and never has one felt so forced. I love the items though so I pulled through… I hope it´s ok.
Forgive me and excuse me, I need… everything to be over….